


Good intentions gone wrong

by LindyA1985



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Depressed Derek Hale, Eating Disorders, Father Stiles Stilinski, Future Fic, M/M, Mentions of Cancer, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-16
Updated: 2016-02-16
Packaged: 2018-05-21 01:39:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6033384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LindyA1985/pseuds/LindyA1985
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles comes back to Beacon Hills after his best friend from collage and the mother of his child dies. Back home he becomes part of the pack again. The only one missing is Derek.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Good intentions gone wrong

**Author's Note:**

> Just a short story I wrote in a day, I hope you all like it.

Stiles never planned to come back to Beacon Hills. Not after Derek broke his heart and defiantly not after Lydia almost died. He moved away, choose a college on the other side of the country and forgot about the supernatural world. The only one he still talked to was his dad. He told him about Erica and Boyd getting married, Scott becoming a vet and about Lydia’s recovery. They never talked about what happened between Derek and him, or about how Derek was doing now because Stiles didn’t want to know.

But life doesn’t always go according to plan. And Stiles should have known that, after all the crap he’d been throw in high school. It all started on a sunny day in April. He and his new BFF Mary were staring at the clouds when she told him. She had the gene, she was going to remove it all. Only she really wanted to be a mom. So they decided to have a baby together. And a year later a little boy was born. She called him Jonathan, after her father, but Stiles gave him the nickname Clouds. And Clouds was a handful. Mary took a semester off to take care of him while Stiles finished his bachelor.

The doctors had told Mary to come back in after six months to prepare for her surgery. They did some tests and took some scans. Stiles came home one day to find her crying on her bed. She screamed at him and he let her. She had two surgeries, chemo, and radiation therapy. And then the nurses started to look at him with pity. Stiles knew what that meant. It was the same look people started to give his dad when his mother was dying. Mary was not going to make it.

Scott got on the first flight to Boston after Stiles called. Even after all those years of radio silence, Scott was still his best friend. Scott told Mary all about werewolves, about his pack, and about the risks of the bite. Mary just told him to do it. She was dying anyway. So Scott gave her the bite. Stiles cried when he saw the black tears coming out of her eyes. He held her while she screamed because off the pain. Scott left them alone. They said their goodbyes and Stiles promised to take care of Clouds. Promised to bake him a cake on his birthdays and to learn him how to ride a bike. And then she died.

His father flew over for the funeral. And afterward they drove back to Beacon Hills. Stiles his belongings put into boxes. He was quiet and scared. Back home he moved back into his old childhood bedroom. He and Scott painted the guestroom, sky blue, with clouds on the walls and ceiling. Stiles enrolled in the master’s program of the local college and took mostly online classes, so he could take care of his baby boy. Lydia came by, but all the other members of the pack left him alone. Stiles was sure he had Scott to thank for that.

Time went by and Stiles settled back into living in Beacon Hills. He and Scott started hanging out again and Stiles helped Lydia with her classes. She still had problems remembering things, and Stiles thought her the tricks he ones learned from his mother. They really seemed to help her, and Stiles was glad Lydia looked more like her old self than she had done five years ago. She and Scott talked about the pack. About the members that Stiles knew and about the new editions. The people Scott had given the bite to save their lives and the omega’s that had joint over the last couple of years. Nobody talked about Derek.

After three months, Stiles met up with Erica and Boyd. They had a little baby girl, only four months younger than Clouds. They arranged play dates for the kids and talked about how Erica loved being a hairdresser while Boyd was the stay at home dad. It was nice to see his old friends again. And slowly he was reintroduced to them all. Isaac worked at the sheriff station and was in love with a nice girl named Patricia. Ethan and Aiden worked at the local garage, and Ethan was happy to tell Stiles that he was invited to his and Danny’s wedding. Danny worked for an internet company.

Slowly he became a part of the pack again, Allison took him shopping for baby clothes, Isaac learned him how to shoot a gun, Aiden started giving him fighting lessons and Scott started to include him when making pack decisions. The new members of the pack treated him with respect and one of the teenagers even offered babysitting duties, if Stiles ever wanted a night off. The only person Stiles never saw was Derek. And Stiles was sure it was for the best.

* * *

Derek had regretted breakings Stiles heart the second after he had done it. Seeing the tears stream down his face, hearing him beg for another chance, it was heartbreaking. But Derek was sure that Stiles would die because of him, so he had to let him go. Stiles told him one last time he loved him, only to hear Derek say that he didn’t love him back. It was a lie. Derek was sure he would never love anyone as most as he loved Stiles.

Two hours later, Derek had packed his stuff into a duffel bag and got in his Camaro, leaving Beacon Hills, planning to never come home again.

* * *

Life went on, Cloud started to walk and talk. Stiles could see Mary in his smile and he missed her. Danny and Ethan got married, and it was an amazing party. Stiles looked at his friends, all in love and happy. Scott talked with Allison, Isaac left early with his girlfriend, Erica and Boyd danced with their baby in their arms and Lydia was standing on the side of the dance floor with Aiden’s arms around her waist. And Stiles was alone.

Stiles couldn’t help himself and the next day he asked Scott about Derek. Stiles had expected to see him at the party, but he hadn’t been there. Nobody talked about him and Stiles was starting to fear the reason why. Scott just looked at Stiles with a sad face. Telling him Derek didn’t like parties, so why would he show up at one? And Stiles knew Scott was hiding something from him.

So Stiles started to investigate. Talking to the pack members who join after Stiles had left. But none of them knew Derek. They all had heard about him, knew he was still alive, but they had never met him in person. Isaac was the only one still talking to him.

Isaac was as forthcoming with information about Derek as Scott had been. Telling Stiles to leave it alone. But Stiles couldn’t do that because he never stopped loving him. Even if he tried to convince himself he had moved on, he knew he hadn’t. Mary had known, he’s sure that’s why she made him promise to move back to Beacon Hills, because of Derek. The one person he talked about in his sleep, the person he compared every potential partner with, making them look like second hands. He had fucked other guys in college, but he had never loved them back. Because his heart still belonged to someone else.

* * *

Derek had made up his mind after Cora had died. The only reason she was alone that night was because Derek stayed over at Stiles. They had been looking for him, to take their revenge, only to find his sister. They had taken her life to punish him. She would be the last person that would die because he loved them.

* * *

Stiles finished his masters after he lived in Beacon Hills for a year and a half. He was twenty-six years old, had a two-year-old son, no job and he still lived with his dad. He had been the best man at Scott and Allison their wedding, and he had wished Derek would have been there to dance with. Or that Mary could have been there to make fun of his speech that wasn’t funny at all. Scott had been blushing the entire time Stiles had been talking while Allison her father started to look like he would kill Scott in his sleep.

Derek didn’t live in Beacon Hills anymore. That was all Stiles had found out in a year. Derek left no traces on social media. And nobody wanted to talk about him. Danny had told him to stop looking when he asked him to break into Derek’s bank accounts. Isaac got mad when he heard about it. He screamed at Stiles to leave it. Derek had moved on and so should he. What Isaac didn’t realize was that his outburst made Stiles fear even more for Derek’s wellbeing.

* * *

Even after five years he still woke up with Stiles on his mind. Derek had felt guilty after Isaac had told him that Stiles had left for college and was never planning to move back to Beacon Hills. It had been Stiles home and Derek drove him away, even after he left. Isaac called him every month, to make sure he was okay. He told him he was still part of the pack and he was always welcome back. And sometimes he longed for it, to go home. He got an invitation for Scott and Allison’s wedding, naming Stiles the best man. And that was what made him ride back to Beacon Hills. Wondering why Stiles came back.

Derek is standing in the tree line, looking at Stiles his old home. A little boy is running around the car while Stiles puts some bags in the trunk. The boy has Stiles his eyes. There is no doubt in Derek’s mind that the boy is Stiles kid. Tears start to form in his eyes when he sees Stiles lift the little man up and hug him. He places the kid in his seat, before getting in the car himself, driving away. Derek is happy for Stiles. He moved on with his life, found a nice girl to spend his life with and has a beautiful kid. Derek had his change and now he had to live with the consequences.

* * *

Stiles finds a part-time job at the local newspaper. He uses their archives to try and find Derek. He doesn’t talk about him anymore in front of the others, but that doesn’t mean he stopped looking. It’s like some outside force is making him look for Derek. He can’t help shake the feeling that Derek is slowly slipping away.

The news archives are no big help. But the phone records of Isaac, that his father gets him, are. It turns out Isaac had been talking to Derek every month, until a couple of months ago. Isaac keeps calling, but Derek doesn’t seem to answer anymore. The sheriff looks up Derek his cellphone GPS coordinates. Stiles is shocked to learn he was in Beacon Hills a month before Scott’s wedding. It was the first time Derek stopped answering Isaac calls. Only two months later Isaac had his outburst.

Stiles doesn’t miss the meaning of this. Derek saw something when he was in Beacon Hills that made him break all contact. It’s at that moment that Clouds runs into Stiles. Only fifteen minutes later Stiles is screaming at Scott at the vets office. Deaton tells them to move it to the back, but Stiles is beyond reason. He wants to know if Scott knew why Derek broke up with him all those years ago. Because Stiles is starting to believe it wasn’t because he stopped loving him.

After Stiles little breakdown, he finally hears the truth. Scott tells him about how Derek left after he broke up with Stiles. He tells him that Isaac used to call him every month to make sure he was okay. And then Isaac tells him that Derek once confessed to him that he left because he was afraid he was going to be the reason Stiles would die before he was even able to finish high school.

Stiles cries himself to sleep that night.

* * *

It is Scott that finds him. He can hear him making calls, but he is too weak to respond. He doesn’t want to be saved. He just wants to die.

Isaac is looking at him when he wakes up in a hospital bed. He calls him an idiot and says the unthinkable before he leaves.

* * *

Stiles hasn’t been to visit Derek at the hospital. He hasn’t looked him up when he moved into Isaac his guestroom. And he is not planning to. Not until he’s sure Derek wants to see him too.

And then his car starts doing funny things on his way back home. Clouds is sitting in the backseat, playing with a dinosaur. Stiles calls Ethan. He tells him he can bring the car round right now, that one of their mechanics will have time to look at it. When he arrives at the garage, he sees Derek talking to Aiden. Stiles hadn’t thought he would look so skinny. When Stiles comes closer he can see that most of the muscles are gone, Derek has become skin over bones. Scott had said he looked bad, but this is even worse than Stiles had imagined.

Derek walks away when Stiles gets out of his car. Stiles wants to follow, but he has Clouds with him, so he turns to the backseat and unbuckles his kid. Clouds takes his dinosaur with him. Aiden tells him he can wait in the office at the back. Stiles takes a couple of books from the backseat to read to Clouds while they wait.

Aiden comes back after only fifteen minutes. Clouds is playing with his dinosaur, so Stiles leaves him alone to talk to Aiden. The car just needed a small fix up and Stiles is glad to hear it. When he comes back into the office to collect Clouds he finds him sitting in Derek’s lap, listening to one of his favorite stories. Clouds doesn’t even notice Stiles coming in, so Stiles just sits down in one of the chairs to wait for the end of the story. Derek looks at him briefly, before he continues reading. Stiles is shocked by the emptiness off his eyes. He wonders what happened to Derek before Scott found him in the woods.

* * *

Derek cries after Stiles leaves. Isaac comes to take him home and Aiden tells him he can take as many days off as he needs.

* * *

Stiles sees Derek again a couple of days later when he’s buying groceries. He leaves him alone like Scott had asked him to do. Derek needs time. That’s what Scott had said. But Stiles still loves him, even more now he saw him interact with his son. And the only thing he really wants to do is take care of him.

Derek drops his shopping basket, and Stiles can see the tears forming in his eyes. He walks over quickly and starts picking up Derek’s items. Clouds follows his example and the little kid tries to lift a big carton of milk. Stiles helps him before the carton falls again. When they placed all the items back into the shopping basket, Stiles finally looks up at Derek. He’s still standing on the same spot, looking at his shaking hands. Tears are falling down his cheeks and Stiles just wants to hug him and tell him he’s going to be alright. But he can’t, not until Derek tells him he’s allowed to.

Cloud also looks at Derek, but he isn’t stopped by grown-up rules. He just wraps his little arms around one of Derek’s legs en hugs him. Stiles is proud of his little kid until he sees the reaction on Derek’s face. His soft crying has turned into uncontrolled howling. Derek’s body is shaking all over. Stiles can’t help but feel responsible for his pain. He takes another step closer and pulls Derek into a hug. He doesn’t care that everybody tells him to leave Derek be. He can’t just leave him like this in the groceries store.

* * *

He’s sitting on the sofa with a cup of hot coffee in his hands. Stiles had brought him to his place after he paid for all their groceries. He could hear Stiles upstairs, putting Clouds down for his nap. Derek wonders where his mother is.

When Stiles walks back into the living room he sits down on the sheriff's chair. The question comes out of nowhere, and Derek is afraid to answer. He hasn’t told anybody. They all want to know what happened to him. Only Isaac seems to suspect, but he keeps quiet. And now Stiles wants to know. But how do you tell somebody you stopped eating because of them.

And then Stiles says he’s sorry he didn’t fight harder for their love before he leaves Derek on his own.

* * *

Stiles is making dinner in the kitchen when his dad comes home. Derek is still sitting on their sofa. Clouds is coloring at the dining table. His dad kisses his grandson on his head before giving Stiles a wondering look. Stiles doesn’t know either. Derek hasn’t said a word to Stiles since he came back, but he won’t leave. Stiles texted Isaac to let him know what happened, but Isaac has decided to go into radio silence, just like Scott.

Derek walks into the kitchen when Stiles is serving dinner. His dad had put out an extra plate for Derek and he takes it without a word. Derek hardly touches his food, just like the cup of coffee that turned cold while he was holding it the entire afternoon. Stiles wishes he knew how to help him, but as long Derek won’t tell them what happened, he doesn’t know how.

“Did you really call your son Clouds?”

The sheriff laughs at Derek’s question, he always said it was a stupid nickname. Stiles is just happy Derek finally said something.

“No, his mother named him Jonathan.”

“So why do you call him Clouds?”

Stiles smiles at the memory. “Because the decision to have him was made watching the clouds.”

“And he hates the name, Jonathan.” His dad elaborates.

The table goes quiet again, except for the noises Clouds makes while eating. Stiles sees Derek look at his kid and then back at his plate. He takes his fork and finally starts eating. The sheriff leaves the table when he finishes his plate, taking Clouds with him upstairs.

Derek finishes his entire plate without saying another word. Stiles just sits there waiting for him to finish. His dad will take care of Clouds. After Derek is finished eating he looks up at Stiles, his eyes look more like the ones Stiles fell in love with all those years ago and not like the empty ones he saw a couple of days ago, the ones that had haunted him during his sleep.

“What happened to his mother?”

“She died, cancer.”

“Did you love her?”

“She was my best friend. I wanted to help her, but I ended up killing her.”

Derek just nods his head.

“I’m sorry.” And then Derek just starts crying again. Stiles moves closer, so he can get his arm around Derek. Derek rests his head on Stiles' shoulder while Stiles holds him close. Stiles doesn’t know what Derek is sorry about, what made him start to cry again. And he defiantly didn’t expect Derek to start talking.

“After Cora, I thought everybody I love would die. So I pushed you away, hoping it would save your life. I thought I could live without you if it meant you were still alive. But I couldn’t. I stopped living. The only thing I did was wander around forests that weren’t my home. For a long time, Isaac was the only person I talked to. And then he told me you had come home and had asked about me. So I came back.”

“Then I saw you with Clouds, and I knew I was too late. You had moved on. So I turned around, but I couldn’t get myself to leave the preserve. There was nothing for me left to live for.”

Stiles waits for more, for the horrible that happened to Derek, that made him loose so much weight. But nothing comes. Stiles mind is racing, cause Derek just told him he still loves him, has always loved him. There was nothing left to live for after Derek thought Stiles had moved on. Nothing left to live for. And that is when it hits Stiles. There had been no monsters, just a man that had no will to live.

“You did this to yourself,” Stiles whispered, “Because of me.”

“I’m sorry.” Derek cries.

It just makes Stiles mad.

“You stupid idiot! We could have been happy together! But you decided on your own that I would be better off without you. Well, I wasn’t. Everywhere I looked I saw memories of us together, so I left Beacon Hills. And even after that, I just looked for guys who looked like you, but they were never you. I was afraid to stay in touch with all my friends because I was afraid they would tell me you would be perfect. Because you are, okay, you are perfect. And I love you, I love you. You’ve always had me.”

Stiles screaming had changed to weeping somewhere in his monolog. He didn’t realize he was crying until he stopped talking.

“You almost killed yourself for no reason. What if you had died, where would that leave me? Do you really want me to be alone for the rest of my life?”

* * *

Derek had known that leaving Stiles had been a mistake, that almost taking his own life had been a mistake, and that he wanted nothing more than to make up for his mistakes. Stiles was sitting next to him, tears rolling over his cheeks. The boy he had left behind had grown into a young man. A man that had never stopped loving him, even after Derek failed to protect Lydia after Derek broke his heart in a million pieces. And Stiles just told him there would never be anyone else he would want to be with. For the first time in years Derek smiled. He really smiled.

Stiles looked at him like he was crazy, but he couldn’t stop from smiling himself. They just smiled at each other, until Derek placed his shaking hand on Stiles' cheek. He whipped away a tear with his thumb before he leaned forward and placed a kiss on Stiles' lips.

Stiles' arms were wrapped around him in seconds, holding Derek close. And they just kissed, and then kissed some more. Making up for seven years of lost kisses.

* * *

_Epilogue_

Derek places his arms around Stiles' waist.

“He’s going to be fine.”

Stiles knows that Clouds will love school, but still. It feels weird to let him go. Stiles places his hand on Derek’s. Their wedding bands touching as he does. It brings a smile to his face, remembering their wedding day. Derek asked him the morning after they got back together after he had made pancakes for Clouds. Stiles had said yes before Derek had time to finish his question. His dad had been in the room and Stiles can still remember him smiling at the scene in front of him. Clouds had just kept eating his breakfast.

Derek moved in with Stiles that day. And a month later they were married. Clouds had started calling Derek papa after two months. Stiles had cried when that happened for the first time.

Derek had never skipped another meal in all the three years they were married.


End file.
